Friday, June 18, 2010

10 reasons i know i am a dumbass.

#1. When I was a kid my dad told me so.
#2. I went to the store today and forgot my wallet. Didn't realize this till I had a cart full of food at check-out. Left, went home to get it and went back to the store. LEAVING MY WALLET AT HOME AGAIN.
#3. I pay 70$ a month for cable and only watch channel 11.
#4. Everytime I drink Jager I get sick. And everytime I drink beer I yell "let's do Jager bombs!"
#5. Because I have run with sissors in high heels in the rain when its dark and I'm clumsy. Twice.(LONG STORY.)
#6. I'm allergic to milk and I'm drinking a milkshake right now and I have no toilet paper (see #2.) And I'm really gonna need it.
#7. Nicole told me so.(but f her cause it wasn't my fault I left my front door wide open with the house keys in the front yard and woke up in a pile of dogs on the kichen floor and still can't find one of my shoes. She was the one who said "I bet I can drink more than you." Yeah right.) (She totally did.) (Bitch.)
#8. When I was a kid I stuck my head through the bars on the back of my dads chair and it got stuck. When I got it out, I did it again. It was stuck for 2 hrs.
#9. I ran around like a fucking retard trying to find my phone. I then used MY PHONE to call it and sat there waiting to hear it ring.
#10. At age 34 I got kicked out of the Twilight movie New Moon. Yes, seriously.

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