Thursday, August 12, 2010

Hey blogspot.....STOP FUCKING DELETING MY SHIT.
I went to publish a story and it said "your post has been successfully deleted!" Fuck you! I do all this shit on my now cracked ass screen phone and it takes forever and then....delete. fucking computers! Little or big they piss me off. My husband says its because I'm mad they are smarter than me. Well he's gonna be mad I'm more vindictive than him cause I put salt on his pb and j sandwich i made him this morning. Alot. Like I covered the peanut butter till it was white and I left a sticky note in it that said "love Molly."

:-)

As much as I try to be a good wifey and friend I always turn out the bad guy in the end. When my husband proposed I was such a Dick he left the resturant. IT WASN'T MY FAULT. He showed up on Valentine's Day at my house with a suit on and some flowers. I had just got off work and was so hung over I could barely stand up. He said "I made reservations. Would you like to change?" I got all pissed and yelled "OH YOU'D LIKE THAT WOULDN'T YOU? WHAT I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?" Fear crossed his face and he scrambled to calm me down."no no" he said "you look fine." And we left. He in a suit. Me in torn jeans and a flannel covered in bleach spots. Oh and according to quint I smelled slightly of vomit.

Anyhow as soon as we walked into the resturant I knew I was gonna hurl. All I could think of was eggs with chicken baby parts in um and rare beef bleeding onto my plate. But I tryed hard to fight the urge, after all, I'm a lady.

We sat down and q ordered a bottle of wine. Ok. A. Fuck that shit this lady drinks beer. And B. This lady was too Hung over to even smell it. But I'm a trooper so I plugged my nose and downed the first glass.

"Oh." Quint said."well that's one way to drink it." And he swirled his and downed his glass too.

Surprisingly, it made me feel better. We started to chat and I could see q lighten up. We ordered our food and he grabbed my hand and said "close your eyes."

"Why? are you going to hit me?" I said. Now see when I was a kid if one of my brothers or sisters said close your eyes...you were gonna open them to a butthole in your face or a snake being hurled at you. Fuck close your eyes.

Q just stared at me and after a moment said "ah...no I have a present for you." And blushed.

Rad. i love presents.

I did as I was told and I held out my hand. He put a small figure in it and i felt it over and over and said "is it a small statue of a dog?" (One track mind.)

"Just open your eyes." Q said and i could tell he was smiling.

I did and in my hand was a blue heart shaped box with a pink bow on top. Gay.

"What the fuck is this?" I said and opened it up.

Inside was a beautiful ring with stones all the way around it.

I looked up and quint and I said "what's this for?"

Quint looked at me, slowly got up, and left.

Um. I watched him go out the door and I said "hello? What's happening?"

The waiter came over totally annoyed and said "looks like he was proposing." And basically threw my food at me.

Oops.

I sat there for like a half hour and decided I actually was a little hungry so I started to eat. But mainly I was scared shitless cause um, I didn't have my wallet and q had literally still not come back.

The waiter came back annoyed said "anything else?" And I whispered "no thanks." And he threw down the check.

I sat there wondering when to rum for it when q came back in tie undone, jacket off and super angry. I smiled and said "thank god. I don't have any money."

He threw his hands in the air and started yelling "THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY? I WANTED TO ASK YOU TO MARRY ME MOLLY! THEN YOU DON'T EVEN LOOK FOR ME WHEN I LEAVE! AND I SEE YOU'VE EATEN...OH AND HALF OF MY MASHED POTATOS TOO! AND WHEN I GET BACK ALL YOUR WORRIED ABOUT IS HOW TO PAY!"

I looked around and everyone was staring at me. I stood up, grabbed the ring box and said "sorry." In a little voice and gave him a hug. He stood perfectly still and said "wait for me outside." And he went to pay. As I walked out people we shaking their heads at me and mumbling "she's a bitch" as I made my way for the door.
We got in the car and I said "I really am sorry. I didnt know you were gonna ask me." And I took the ring out and said "will you marry me?" And I handed it to him. Q shook his head smiled and said "of course I will molly." And he took the ring and put it on my finger.

I looked up at my fiance and said "it doesn't fit." And I opened the car door and threw up.

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