Wednesday, July 7, 2010

So....if you've ever been in downtown Bremerton, over by the ferry, then you've been lucky enough to see the bar called the Drift Inn.

It's where I am now, enjoying a pretty cold beer actually. From the looks of the place you'd think it would be warm as piss. The people watching and general entertainment of this place are reason enough to stay, so ice cold cheap beer is just an awesome added bonus.

I can't speak for the men's restroom, but the women's is fucking scary. There's a narrow walkway to the toilet and sink and it smells like the bottom of a fish tank. The door to the stall doesn't close and the toilet leaks. The writing on the walls is all about what number to call to get whatever you want sucked, blown, or fucked, about who's a whore or a cunt, and who may or may not be someone's daddy. There's never any soap or paper towels and if you happen to be in there when some of the "locals" are, they donot recognize common courtesies such as "excuse me", "I'm sorry", "sorry I was in line" or "I SAID THERE'S SOMEONE IN HERE." Basically its pottying at its finest.

They don't take anything but cash and the ancient cash machine inside charges you 3+ to withdraw. They don't make pretty drinks and the bartender would probably spit in it if she did because you made her make it. If you need a drink, you have to be aggressive and be willing to get dirty looks from the regulars because you interupted their conversation with the bartender about all the important stuff in the world like how much pork is at the Super Walmart.

Speaking of the regulars, I've just been informed that I can get a 15$ blow job from the 60yr old handicapped woman with a speach impediment sitting 2 seats down. I cannot, however, get it in the establishment anymore so we will have to go to the alley or my car. In lieu of
payment, I can just buy her a few drinks cause thats what shes giving the blow jobs for anyhow.

Ah, that's ok. I'll pass.

You can apparently smoke anything you want in here too, according to my neighbors "rolled cigarette". The stale air is thick with b.o. and smoke and the shitty fan at the door is blowing a steady steam of both plus chunks of dust into my eyes and beer. Seems like anything goes here except for sitting on the tables which will get you kicked out by the regulars and 86ed by the bartender. Snorting coke in the bathroom? Oh that's ok. Just be prepared to be yelled at and told to go back to "yo mamas nasty ass house you stupid ass bitch" if you walk in on this being done when you finally decide to break the seal and take a piss in their scary ass bathroom.

Putting money in the jukebox is pointless, because I think it has been loaded up about 30+ years ago. Don't get me wrong, i love classic rock but how many times do I really have to listen to baracuda in an hour?

I have been asked by a few old men if I'd like to sit in their lap or watch them play pool (as have every girl in here) and have had 2 "ladies" ask me "what the fuck are you looking at bitch?" I simply smile or shrug and keep my eyes down when someone looks at me. I feel it may be the only way to stay alive.

All in all spending 6 dollars for a nice buzz and some cold beer on a 90 degree day ain't bad and I have to smile to myself because truth is...

This is my kind of bar.

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