Friday, September 17, 2010


In a week nicole and I are doing the breast cancer 3 day walk. It's sixty miles in 3 days. We did the same walk 2 years ago. It was really cool and emotional and amazing. It was an experience I will never forget. I laughed and cried and bonded with some amazing people. It was 70 degrees everyday and sunny. It was new and exciting and unexpected. I loved it.

This yr....10 day forcast says its going to rain, I get winded walking the dogs around the block, I am 20 lbs heavier, my knees hurt when I walk uphill, and I know what it takes to walk 20 miles a day. It sucks. A lot. I also know what happens to a port a potty in 70 degree weather with thousands of people using them. Fuck off....I just threw up in my mouth...I can't even picture that hell without gagging. I can't do this.

I'm going to die.

Last time on the second day I got so dehydrated I almost had to be hooked up to an iv. I refused it because the medical tent was just that....a tent. I was in the grass on a cot that had what I could only hope was a pop stain as the nurse said it to be. This didn't feel sanitary enough to start opening up my veins. It was weird cause the doc said I got dehydrated because I drank gatoraid and no water. Go figure. How the fuck was I supposed to know? The doc said you have to drink a glass of water for every gatoraid. Wtf? The commercials don't tell you that. They show pretty people with rad bodies and lots of money sweating the color of the gatoraid they drank while getting the work out of a lifetime. It doesn't say "leathal disgusting beverage" anywhere. I hate it when tv lies to me.

It was really weird being dehydrated. My face felt like it melted and I couldn't make my legs move when I wanted them to. It was sorta rad except I kept thinking I was gonna puke. Nicole kept staring at me and asking me if i was ok but she looked like she was in a tunnel and her voice sounded far far away. It was weird. I couldn't really talk cause anything that took any energy was out of the question. I just slowly put one foot in front of the other till we got back to the campsite. I won't be doing that this year.....fuck gatoraid. If I'm gonna get dehydrated, I'll drink alcohol thanks. At least then it tastes good and I get a buzz.

In preparation for the 3 day we are supposed to train for months before the walk. They send you these emails every fucking week telling you where you should be at in your training but I just ignored them and wished I could block them off my email list. I mean shut up already. I get it. Put one foot in front of the other and repeat. This is called walking! Fuck. It wasn't hard to walk 20 miles a day it just fucking sucks ass. There is no training that will undo that fact. There is not exercise that will make it fun and exciting and not at all boring. There is no special cream to make quarter sized blisters go away or just not appear. It's friction on skin....that shit just happens. The last thing im going to do is practice all year and get blisters over and over again. Fuck that I'll just wait and get them once thanks. There is no special way to walk to make it all not suck. Nada. It's just walking anyone can do it. Plus it's not a race, they don't even let you run if you wanted to. At all. Like not even across the street or to catch the ice cream man (he was getting away!) So I can literally go as slow as i want. They encourage it. I mean, if you run they will pick you up in their little patrol cars and take you to the campsite. Day over. Bad walker. Fuck that, maybe I will start to run first thing off and then just get wasted in my tent. Hey a girl can dream.

Last time we tryed to escape in the night to find a bar or a store with beer. We couldn't get out of Marymore park where our campsite was. They had the place locked down tight. Noone was getting in or out. As much as I appreciated that (they kept out the murderers...hey tents don't lock and the can be cut open. There is a reason i dont camp.) I also found it fucking annoying that I couldn't leave. They hired these biker chicks to patrol the grounds and they wernt falling for my story about needing tampons. I unfortunately forgot I was with a couple thousand women."borrow one." The biker told me."what? Gross. I doubt they want that back." I said jokingly. She just stood there and stared at me untill I turned and walked back to my tent. All we wanted was a couple 40s. I mean its not easy going to bed at 7:30 even when your tired. Especially when there is an outdoor concert going on at the same place that's louder than shit. Super tiredness will just turn into anxiety without the proper drugs. I'm going prepared this time.

I got earplugs, a flask and some benadryl. I am bringing cash and a small backpack so i can hit the first grocery or gas station i find and stow a brewski in it back to camp. Busch light on ice with a benadryl? Sounds like a party in the team maddog and coco tent.

It's gonna be a long weekend.

I hate breast cancer.

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