decrapping

I have been on a mission to decrap my house. My friend Jen told me to get rid of one thing everyday. This way it wont be overwhelming and I don't get rid of anything in my blind haste to rid myself of everything I own so that i no longer have to clean. I was tempted. Really tempted. I clean all fucking day for work. When I get home, its honestly the last thing i want to do. But I love a clean house. So I thought really what more do I need than a bed, couch and tv?

It's amazing how much tupperware someone like me, who doesn't cook, owns. Plus I keep nothing. Any left overs go to my dogs. And honestly I don't think any of these fucking odd shaped squares I own have any lids anyway. And they take up a whole cupboard because none of them fit in together. I opened the cupboard and they literally fell all over me. It's stupid and useless and they gotta go. But when I put them in the to go pile I realized suddenly that I love small odd square plastic containers and when I went to sleep i dremt about needing them and I even had one as a purse, which contained a puppy. So next day, not only did they come out of the pile, I bought a huge box of new ones after I tested each size for puppy perfectness.

Fuck. You guys, I'm crazy.

I have like 5 cookie jars and none of them have cookies in them. I eat all the cookies in one day....they dont have enough time to get stale. In one jar there was change, 73 cents to be exact. In another there was a pair of socks. Nicely folded around a half a slim Jim. I'm sorry but I don't even wanna know what the fuck thats about.

The other 3 were empty and stupid. But again as soon as they sat in that I hate you pile I started to get sad and soon everything had a name and was promised to be loved. Q says I have a velvateen rabbit complex. He says ceramic dog cookie jars that are cracked in half and taped together with duct tape are called garbage not James.

Whatever. I'm trying. I found a broken mirror in between the mattress and box spring that i hid there because I thought the bad guys couldn't give me seven years bad luck if they couldnt find it. I got rid of that! I had to bag it twice and hide in the garbage after midnight but its gone!

Quint thinks maybe I need a vacation. He said we could go somewhere nice and quite and I could relax. He said maybe if I had a calm environment maybe I could stay out of the nuthouse another year or so. I said sure and maybe you don't need 3 guitars. Maybe one is all you need and the needy can have the others. He quickly changed tune and patted James on his way to the kitchen.

Its not easy ridding myself of my treasures. I want the easy way, I want not to dust or constantly organize but I love my stuff. I don't know why inatimate objects mean so much to me but they do. When i was a kid my dad used to set us free in jafco and while everyone else went to play with the electronics I would go to their stuffed animal isle dump them all on the floor and sort them and put them away upright so they aren't uncomfortable. I used to hug each one whisper "when noone is around you can dance and sing, when people are here you are to remain asleep. You will see no harm and feel no pain, and even if I don't buy you I love you just the same." I used to sneak in a pen and write names on their tags of my favorite ones. I used to hide these ones behind others so some asshole kid didn't get them and I could come back to see them again. It's funny cause I don't remember ever telling anyone I did this but one christmas, I got 3 of my favorite stuffed animals with names written on their tags. It was pretty awesome.

At anyrate, I will continue to get rid of one thing till christmas day....that's my goal. So far its been two days and I've got the mirror and a book about 365 days of healthy eating. I honestly don't know what that was even doing in my house. It's a fucking cookbook. About healthy eating. In MY house. I could hear the cheetos and ding dongs clapping when I threw it in the pile. Wish me luck this isn't going to be easy. Q says I should get rid of the doll wrapped in a towel shoved behind his jeans in his closet. He says its obvious I hate it. But I don't, I've had the thing since I was a kid and i love it but I dont know about you but Talking Tina on twilight zone ruined my shit. And Chucky pretty much sealed the deal so I told him I'm afraid to throw her out for fear she'll kill me or maim the dogs.

He told me he'd wait for me while I spend my turn in a padded room. What a guy.

sept.17

In a week nicole and I are doing the breast cancer 3 day walk. It's sixty miles in 3 days. We did the same walk 2 years ago. It was really cool and emotional and amazing. It was an experience I will never forget. I laughed and cried and bonded with some amazing people. It was 70 degrees everyday and sunny. It was new and exciting and unexpected. I loved it.

This yr....10 day forcast says its going to rain, I get winded walking the dogs around the block, I am 20 lbs heavier, my knees hurt when I walk uphill, and I know what it takes to walk 20 miles a day. It sucks. A lot. I also know what happens to a port a potty in 70 degree weather with thousands of people using them. Fuck off....I just threw up in my mouth...I can't even picture that hell without gagging. I can't do this.

I'm going to die.

Last time on the second day I got so dehydrated I almost had to be hooked up to an iv. I refused it because the medical tent was just that....a tent. I was in the grass on a cot that had what I could only hope was a pop stain as the nurse said it to be. This didn't feel sanitary enough to start opening up my veins. It was weird cause the doc said I got dehydrated because I drank gatoraid and no water. Go figure. How the fuck was I supposed to know? The doc said you have to drink a glass of water for every gatoraid. Wtf? The commercials don't tell you that. They show pretty people with rad bodies and lots of money sweating the color of the gatoraid they drank while getting the work out of a lifetime. It doesn't say "leathal disgusting beverage" anywhere. I hate it when tv lies to me.

It was really weird being dehydrated. My face felt like it melted and I couldn't make my legs move when I wanted them to. It was sorta rad except I kept thinking I was gonna puke. Nicole kept staring at me and asking me if i was ok but she looked like she was in a tunnel and her voice sounded far far away. It was weird. I couldn't really talk cause anything that took any energy was out of the question. I just slowly put one foot in front of the other till we got back to the campsite. I won't be doing that this year.....fuck gatoraid. If I'm gonna get dehydrated, I'll drink alcohol thanks. At least then it tastes good and I get a buzz.

In preparation for the 3 day we are supposed to train for months before the walk. They send you these emails every fucking week telling you where you should be at in your training but I just ignored them and wished I could block them off my email list. I mean shut up already. I get it. Put one foot in front of the other and repeat. This is called walking! Fuck. It wasn't hard to walk 20 miles a day it just fucking sucks ass. There is no training that will undo that fact. There is not exercise that will make it fun and exciting and not at all boring. There is no special cream to make quarter sized blisters go away or just not appear. It's friction on skin....that shit just happens. The last thing im going to do is practice all year and get blisters over and over again. Fuck that I'll just wait and get them once thanks. There is no special way to walk to make it all not suck. Nada. It's just walking anyone can do it. Plus it's not a race, they don't even let you run if you wanted to. At all. Like not even across the street or to catch the ice cream man (he was getting away!) So I can literally go as slow as i want. They encourage it. I mean, if you run they will pick you up in their little patrol cars and take you to the campsite. Day over. Bad walker. Fuck that, maybe I will start to run first thing off and then just get wasted in my tent. Hey a girl can dream.

Last time we tryed to escape in the night to find a bar or a store with beer. We couldn't get out of Marymore park where our campsite was. They had the place locked down tight. Noone was getting in or out. As much as I appreciated that (they kept out the murderers...hey tents don't lock and the can be cut open. There is a reason i dont camp.) I also found it fucking annoying that I couldn't leave. They hired these biker chicks to patrol the grounds and they wernt falling for my story about needing tampons. I unfortunately forgot I was with a couple thousand women."borrow one." The biker told me."what? Gross. I doubt they want that back." I said jokingly. She just stood there and stared at me untill I turned and walked back to my tent. All we wanted was a couple 40s. I mean its not easy going to bed at 7:30 even when your tired. Especially when there is an outdoor concert going on at the same place that's louder than shit. Super tiredness will just turn into anxiety without the proper drugs. I'm going prepared this time.

I got earplugs, a flask and some benadryl. I am bringing cash and a small backpack so i can hit the first grocery or gas station i find and stow a brewski in it back to camp. Busch light on ice with a benadryl? Sounds like a party in the team maddog and coco tent.

It's gonna be a long weekend.

I hate breast cancer.

Hiya papaya!

Got a couple messages in my absence. The first was a message asking if i was dead and if so could I let them know. Um...I thought that was weird cause how would I answer if I was so I wrote back telling him "yes. I am. Please in liu of flowers send money." Lets see how that works out.

I have to also respond to the message from Mr. Or Mrs."anoymous". Why yes, you fucking pussy, I do kiss my mother with this mouth (and yours too bitch). Thanks for asking. Oh and in regards to the alcoholic accusation.....sounds to me like your just a bit jealous mate. Your probably a recovering alcoholic so you find it your duty to go around judging others. Your just pissed cause at 10am I had a bloody Mary and a taco. Guess what? I plan on drinking 6 beers at least today.(with lemon). Last night I had 2 glasses of whiskey and 4 beers and laughed my ass of for hours. I think your a sore loser and an asshole. Plus I think your a cock sucking douche bag with a fucking exclamation point problem (do you really need one after every sentence? God your stupid.) And you have a bad attitude and i have a feeling you have bad breath too since your so concerned about my mouth.Might wanna get on that. Careful though.....don't wanna have a relapse accidentally swallowing some mouth wash.

Cheers bitch!

It's been all hot and shit so I've been walking the dogs before work. It's all good in the morning except for the early bird ass old people in my neighborhood. they all wanna talk and say hi and ask about the dogs or where I live or the weather or fucking 300000000 other things. I just want to walk. I don't want to talk to anyone. Or have a discussion about whether or not pitbulls are murdering devil dogs from hell.(FYI I own two of them. I obviously like them.)

So anyway, last night q and I got in this huge fight over his use of the word 'certain' or 'certainly'. I was de-cluttering our fucking house when he kept trying to keep everything that was total and complete crap. We were already on the way to a fight when my nitpicking kicked in.

"I am most certain I want that." Q said when I picked up a nail cluster covered in gum.
"Tough shit. It's garbage."
"It most certainly isn't."
"Um...yeah it is. These nails are covered in gum."
"I'm not so certain that's gum."
"Oh yeah? What is it then?"
"I'm not certain but that doesn't make it garbage."
"Yeah the fuck it does."
"It most certainly does not."
"Why the fuck do you keep saying certain?"
"I'm not saying certain."
"Yeah the fuck you are. It's hella annoying."
"You are most certainly the annoying one."
"Stop it."
"Stop what? This is ridiculous. These are my things. I am certain I should be able to deside if they are garbage or not."
"Um...I don't actually care. WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP SAYING CERTAIN."
"Why do you nitpick everything? So I said certain who cares?"
"Me. Fuck. You said it like 5,000 times. Get a thesaurus or some shit."
"If there's one thing I am certain of its that your being a bitch."
"Oh yeah? Are ya CERTAIN ABOUT THAT?"
"Yes. I most certainly am."

So I stayed up all night drinking busch light (with lemon) and plotting quints demise. I didn't get to bed till like 4 am and when my alarm aka quint slamming the door woke me up at 6:30 I was in a less than plesant mood.

"Awesome. Another hot fucking day. Let's do this dogs." And we went out for our walk.

I got bombarded this morning. Everyone wanted to talk about Obama cause I guess he's coming to visit Seattle or some shit.
"Are you gonna watch his speech?"
"Do you wk in Seattle? That traffics gonna be awful!"
"In my day we raised the flag for our president."
"does Jim down the road have his flag up?"
"You know Obama's got a dog right?"

By the time I was done with my half hour walk I was sweating busch light (with lemon) and I was so dehydrated I couldn't talk anymore. I downed water till my voice came back and forgetting we were in a fight I called q to tell him of my morning.

"Oh my god babe'" I said. "it was so annoying. The early birds just wouldn't shut up today! I was going crazy! It was so fucking frustrating!"

"CERTAINLY sounds like it." Q said and hung up.

Well looks like he can kiss his precious gum nails goodbye.

Oh and his favorite kangol hat.

:-)

It's august 22 so I know my time outside being warm is limited. Especially since its currently fucking raining. I can't tell you how amazing it is in Washington when its sunny. You have to live here or be from here to understand it. its never too hot, or super muggy or bad air quality. It's just sunny and beautiful. There's shitloads of mountains and water and Rad shit everywhere you look. it makes you forgive ole Washington for being rainy for 8 months. Straight. In a row. Every fucking year.

Honestly the rain is getting harder the older I get to take. I try, I give myself peptalks and buy a rad raincoat but it gets to ya. Cause when it rains here, are asses and fucking sacked in with clouds. None of that "oh shoot. A storm is coming. Dang it its going to rain." It's more like "there's gonna be 3 hrs of no rain this afternoon folks. Get out and enjoy it while you can." Wtf. Where do you want me to go? In my flooded ass backyard and just stand there thankful for no rain for a couple hrs? I know that shit is coming back. And it's still fucking wet everywhere. And mother fucking cold. Not the freezing temperature shit but that to the bone damp kind of cold. No thanks l'll just stay inside. Fuck that.

Fucking twilight. Making this place look so good even I forgot. I said yeah I wanna go to forks. And I tryed really hard to see the beauty in it and it ended up just pissing me off. That town sucks balls. On Facebook there was this thing where you could 'like' or be 'a fan' of or whatever and it said "I knew about the town of forks before twilight." Who cares. And who did know? I saw a shitload of my friends 'like' it. What I gotta say is good for you, your a hick. Why are you bragging about it? Like your cool cause twilight didn't teach you shit. No one cares. Forks sucks. There is nothing there but trees, some twilight stores, and a resturant with some really mean old ladies in it. Really mean. And they all shit talk twilight.....even though without it that town would be a goner.

Anyway Twilight rules so shut it haters. No, I'm not a teenager or retarded (my dad said you'd have to be reatrded to love vampires. They eat people.) I am a normal lady who thinks its rad. Not to mention that Robert Pattinson is so, so, so pretty. Mommy likey. He is the coolest thing since bon jovi or flea control medicine. He makes me smile everyday. I love him. I can't help it.

I can't wait for the new movies to come out. I get so excited. I have to control myself though cause during the second movie 'New Moon' I accidentally got kicked out.

I got too drunk before the movie. Fuck it. The goddamn thing didn't start till midnight. Why the fuck is that ever a good idea? Oh and here, the theater is across the street from a fucking brewery. My friends were all like "yeah let's like totally meet at Silvercity and get some drinks first!" Sounds good! So I did! And they kept buying me shots! And the beer is strong! And I had 2 fucking hours to wait! it was bound to happen.

Thing is we also snuck in some whiskey. Now I know what your going to say but I don't care. I enjoy having a drink with my movie. We bought some pops and went to the bathroom to make some drinky poos.

Tiffany was all like "pee now so you don't have to go during the movie." Ha. I literally didn't get 15 minutes into the thing. We took our seats as the previews started and I just started to babble.

"Wow its really crowded in here. Tif, look at that girls hair. What is that person eating? I hope they don't eat it the whole movie. Oh I love this song!(sing song loud with wrong words. Giggle uncontrollably) Tif, you wanna go to that movie? Oh hey I....."

"HEY LADY SHUT UP." Said some dude from somewhere in the crowd.

"He means you Molly." Tiffany said starting to laugh.
"Whatever I said. It's just the previews." And I just kept talking. The movie started and I didn't stop."oh this is #3 on the new sound track! I got it last week. I bet Robbys coming up soon. I can't wait! I'm so excited! OH MY GOD THERE HE IS! TEAM EDWARD!"

"SHUT UP I'M SERIOUS!" yelled some obviously team Jacob fan.
"Calm down." I said "chill out." I took a large sip of my drink and then got a tap on the shoulder.

"Ma'am. Can you come with me for a moment."
And I turned around to face a 15 yr old theater worker.
"Who me?" I said looking at the girl.
"Yes ma'am. I need to talk with you out in the hall."
I sat there shocked and said "why?"
"There has been several complaints about you....I really don't want to get into this here. Can you come with me please?" She said guesturing to leave.
"I guess." I sighed and got up to follow.
We got into the hall where an offical looking 17yr old was waiting.
"Good evening ma'am. Im sorry but there have been some noise complaints about you. I'm afraid if it continues we'll have to ask you to leave." He said and smiled at me.
"Your joking." I said starting to laugh.
"No ma'am I'm quite serious. And also here at the kitsap mall theaters we do not choose "teams" or sides. This is a neutral place. We ask ,in order to keep this from escalating even further, that you not yell out your choice." And he nodded at the other girl.

I looked from one to the other and said "for what to escalate? I didn't do anything."

"No but this woman was very upset about you yelling 'team Edward' and was concerned for her young daughter who was obviously team Jacob." And he crossed his arms and glared at me.

I couldn't speak at first cause no way he just said that. No way that lady was that much of a phsyco! That is fucking awesome!

Finally I said "fine. I'll be good can I sit down now?" and I sighed loudly.

The manager child guy said "yes but if we have anymore complaints in the next 15 minutes, you'll be asked to leave." And he smiled a bigger smile at me this time.
"Gotcha." I said and smiled right back at him.

I sat down and told tiffany the whole story."we should leave then Molly. I don't think you can do it." She said.
"Fuck that!" I said "I can totally do this! Watch I'll show you." And I turned towards the screen right as Jacob came onto it.

"Boo!" I said "I hate the Indian guys!" And everyone turned to look at me.

Tiffany spit her drink everywhere and grabbed my arm."its ok." She said loudly."we're leaving." and yanked me up.
"Wait!" I said bending down and reached under the seat."I almost forgot my whiskey!" And I grabbed my cup and started to leave.

The lady next to us said "thank goodness!" And a couple people clapped. I handed my cup to a man sitting with like 10 teenagers said "you may need this" and we left.

I agree it was probably the best idea. The next morning when we came back to hopefully actually see the movie, I was so hung over and tired I couldn't even stand the smell of the popcorn. I stood against the wall breathing only through my mouth waiting for tiffany to use the bathroom when an official looking 17 yr old approached me.
"Oh good your back." He said smiling a huge grin.
"Ah yep." I said. Did I know this guy?
"That's great" he said still smiling ear to ear."let's try to behave ourselves this time shall we?" And he dropped his smile.

I turned bright red as it dawned on me who he was. I blushed, lowered my head and said "yes sir."

Like some creepy evil villain he stared right at me and said "well let's just hope so. Do enjoy your movie." And he turned and walked away.

Asshole. I thought as I concentrated hard on not puking.

I shouldn't be aloud to nap. It does the complete opposite of what I want it to do. It does not refresh me or make me feel better or put me in a better mood. I always wake up sick to my stomach, grumpy and tireder. No wonder babies cry when they wake up. Naps suck. I'm gonna start crying too. But mainly cause I slept in a pile of cat vomit and didn't realize it till I woke, which I only woke cause the dog was shoving me to try and get to it to eat it. I hate animals.

And there is this GODDAMN FLY WHO NEEDS TO CHILL THE FUCK OUT buzzing around my room with such urgency he's giving me anxiety. No wonder everyone hates you flies. You really need to change how you sound. It's so fucking loud. Well that and that maggot thing is fucking gross. How bout trying to not have worms as babies. Your so stupid.

I hate my neighbors weekwacker and someone needs to tell him NOT TO MOW ROCKS. What the fuck is he doing out there? Every 4 seconds the mower stops cause it sounds like a small boulder got stuck in the blades. Then he starts it back up and it happens again. For like a half hour this has been going on. Who mows rocks? Oh and hay fucker, figure it the fuck out and stop Jesus christ. Obviously this isn't working. Fucking moron. I actually hate you.

This old lady was walking by my front yard yesterday while I was killing a tree and she stopped and said "that tree is probably older than you. What a shame to destroy it. I've seen it everyday on my walk for years." I sighed picked up my axe and said "I don't care. I hate old things." And started hacking away. My two pitbulls started jumping and barking like maniacs on the screen door and I screamed while hacking "shut up Killer! Get down off the screen Capt. Hate! Bad dogs! You break down that door again and I swear I'll kick your ass this time!" And the little old lady gasped and, I guess her version of quickly, walked away. I smiled to myself cause of course my dogs were just trying to get out to say hi but I wanted miss snoopy bad breath outta here. Mind your own beeswax missy! That tree was really stupid anyway.

My parents were never friends with our neighbors when we were kids. In truth I have to wonder if this is because they had "5 shitty kids and a fuckload of pets" as my dad said was the reason or because they just hate people. I'm starting to think its the second since when I talked to my dad yesterday he said "my fucking neighbor came over and asked for some sugar. What year is this? There are literally stores everywhere. I told him we've none to spare and that I saw some at safeway yesterday. I then put the dogs in the front yard so noone else would stop by. I'm having the doorbell removed." he added later that "someone said hello to me when I went to the mailbox. Jesus Christ can't I get a moments peace?"

The neighborhood my parents live in is super stupid. It's got one of those things where ya gotta pay fees and follow their rules. My dad tryed to paint the house once and the homeowners president came by and told my dad he didn't approve the color through them. My dad said "its brown. It was brown before. Are you saying I actually have to ask YOU what color I can paint MY house? Are you fucking kidding me?" So because she had the nerve to say something my dad left the house half painted for a yr. The board members would gather near the house and talk quietly shaking their heads. My dad would just go outside and turn on the sprinklers..which were aimed at the street.

Another time he had a load of beauty bark in his truck and he had parked the truck in the grass so it was closer to where he was spreading it. The members left a nice note on the windsheild explaining no vehicle could be parked in ones lawn. So my dad took out the battery, left a note saying "tough shit its broke." And it stayed there through the summer. The five of us kids used it as a jungle gym. Ahhhh what a sight.

Speaking of beauty bark my father has this on going war with his yard. Especially the little hill in the lawn. He buys tons of rocks and beauty bark each year and slowly takes away more grass each time. He says the grass doesn't grow because of the trees keeping out the light and they keep throwing their needles and pine cones on it. Each year more grass has been removed and more rocks have been added. I think he just looked for excuses not to be inside with his family. Maybe I think this because he used to say "I'm going outside to work in the yard. I can't stand you people." I wonder.

My dad also spent a fait amount of time at the dump. And for some reason he always made us go. It sucked. Half of us were in the back of the truck with the garbage while the other half sat up front with dad and his huge white dog Mitzi. She always got the window seat and she would hang her head out and drool and coat anyone in back who sat on that side. I got plastered once and yelled "I need a napkin! Mitzi drooled on me!" To which my dad yelled back "its only spit! Her mouth is cleaner than yours stop complaining!"

It smelled horrible at the dump. My dad would set us free while he unloaded the truck yelling at us not to eat anything (Seriously.) And to keep an eye on his dog. That dog sucked about listening and my dad kept her on a rope that burned like a mother fucker. She would throw all her weight into her run (she was very, very fat) and the rope would slip through your hands causing such pain that you had to let go. I wonder what it must of looked like to other people. Just a fun family day at the dump. 5 kids chasing down a giant fat dog as their dad yells swear words at them and calls them useless. Yay!

But fear not people for we kids were not stupid. See we knew the dairy queen was out by the dump and if there is one thing my dad can't resist, its sweets.

We would drop suttle hints here and there to plant the idea of dairy queen in his head."smells like ice cream." One might say taking a wiff.(bad idea if still at dump...this had to be timed right or you could vomit from inhailing rotten fumes.) "Mitzi looks hot she could use some ice cream." Or "dad what's your favorite ice cream flavor?" Or "dad can we have dairy queen?" If he wasn't paying attention. It always worked. We always got some. It was hard work but hey, nothings free.

Hey blogspot.....STOP FUCKING DELETING MY SHIT.
I went to publish a story and it said "your post has been successfully deleted!" Fuck you! I do all this shit on my now cracked ass screen phone and it takes forever and then....delete. fucking computers! Little or big they piss me off. My husband says its because I'm mad they are smarter than me. Well he's gonna be mad I'm more vindictive than him cause I put salt on his pb and j sandwich i made him this morning. Alot. Like I covered the peanut butter till it was white and I left a sticky note in it that said "love Molly."

:-)

As much as I try to be a good wifey and friend I always turn out the bad guy in the end. When my husband proposed I was such a Dick he left the resturant. IT WASN'T MY FAULT. He showed up on Valentine's Day at my house with a suit on and some flowers. I had just got off work and was so hung over I could barely stand up. He said "I made reservations. Would you like to change?" I got all pissed and yelled "OH YOU'D LIKE THAT WOULDN'T YOU? WHAT I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?" Fear crossed his face and he scrambled to calm me down."no no" he said "you look fine." And we left. He in a suit. Me in torn jeans and a flannel covered in bleach spots. Oh and according to quint I smelled slightly of vomit.

Anyhow as soon as we walked into the resturant I knew I was gonna hurl. All I could think of was eggs with chicken baby parts in um and rare beef bleeding onto my plate. But I tryed hard to fight the urge, after all, I'm a lady.

We sat down and q ordered a bottle of wine. Ok. A. Fuck that shit this lady drinks beer. And B. This lady was too Hung over to even smell it. But I'm a trooper so I plugged my nose and downed the first glass.

"Oh." Quint said."well that's one way to drink it." And he swirled his and downed his glass too.

Surprisingly, it made me feel better. We started to chat and I could see q lighten up. We ordered our food and he grabbed my hand and said "close your eyes."

"Why? are you going to hit me?" I said. Now see when I was a kid if one of my brothers or sisters said close your eyes...you were gonna open them to a butthole in your face or a snake being hurled at you. Fuck close your eyes.

Q just stared at me and after a moment said "ah...no I have a present for you." And blushed.

Rad. i love presents.

I did as I was told and I held out my hand. He put a small figure in it and i felt it over and over and said "is it a small statue of a dog?" (One track mind.)

"Just open your eyes." Q said and i could tell he was smiling.

I did and in my hand was a blue heart shaped box with a pink bow on top. Gay.

"What the fuck is this?" I said and opened it up.

Inside was a beautiful ring with stones all the way around it.

I looked up and quint and I said "what's this for?"

Quint looked at me, slowly got up, and left.

Um. I watched him go out the door and I said "hello? What's happening?"

The waiter came over totally annoyed and said "looks like he was proposing." And basically threw my food at me.

Oops.

I sat there for like a half hour and decided I actually was a little hungry so I started to eat. But mainly I was scared shitless cause um, I didn't have my wallet and q had literally still not come back.

The waiter came back annoyed said "anything else?" And I whispered "no thanks." And he threw down the check.

I sat there wondering when to rum for it when q came back in tie undone, jacket off and super angry. I smiled and said "thank god. I don't have any money."

He threw his hands in the air and started yelling "THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY? I WANTED TO ASK YOU TO MARRY ME MOLLY! THEN YOU DON'T EVEN LOOK FOR ME WHEN I LEAVE! AND I SEE YOU'VE EATEN...OH AND HALF OF MY MASHED POTATOS TOO! AND WHEN I GET BACK ALL YOUR WORRIED ABOUT IS HOW TO PAY!"

I looked around and everyone was staring at me. I stood up, grabbed the ring box and said "sorry." In a little voice and gave him a hug. He stood perfectly still and said "wait for me outside." And he went to pay. As I walked out people we shaking their heads at me and mumbling "she's a bitch" as I made my way for the door.
We got in the car and I said "I really am sorry. I didnt know you were gonna ask me." And I took the ring out and said "will you marry me?" And I handed it to him. Q shook his head smiled and said "of course I will molly." And he took the ring and put it on my finger.

I looked up at my fiance and said "it doesn't fit." And I opened the car door and threw up.