These pictures are: Alabama's new scar, and my sweet little doped up girl. She's a tough cookie. So glad she is home.

While Alabama was in surgery Joey and I took a Tour de Bremerton.

Earlier today Alabamas surgeon called. He said this:

"Alabama is out of surgery and doing wonderfully. Someone is looking out for this little one, that was one smooth surgery. The acl was torn completly off but surprisingly no other damage was done and I finished quickly. She is a lucky girl and I think she's got an angel on her shoulder."

Thanks Dad.

Well and thanks to the doc too haha.

Today my baby girl Alabama is getting her acl replaced. I, of course, am a giant ball of anxiety and fear and am sad that she is gonna get upset when I leave her there. Alabama ran into the vet tail wagging and jumped onto the receptionist. "I want to stay with her till surgery." I said "she is a needy little girl I don't want her to think I'm abandoning her. is that ok?" "of course!" she said "just let me get her catheter started and you can sit with her." she took Alabamas leash and Alabama ran off with her without looking back, smiling from ear to ear tail wagging.

I don't think she's the one with the problem.

A boy and his welder.

Brian and I bought Alabama this dolly for her surgery. I usually leave my jacket with her so she has something of mamas but Brian wanted something from all of us. The first night Brian used it as a pillow, the me and now Joey. Look how cute Joey is. Brian says he will buy Joey his own tomorrow. I love my family.

Yesterday Brian told me he wanted to do something nice for me so he was gonna write a letter to Jon Bon Jovi and tell him all about me and make Jon see that he would want to meet me too. Then he paused for a second and said "this is a bad idea. He will fall in love with you and i will lose you. That would be a bad move on my part." i laughed and said "he's happily married Brian." and Brian smiled and said "yeah until he meets you."

BRIAN RULZ

This chinchilla hates me. Can ya tell?

I went outside this morning to start up the truck and take out the garbage and I guess Alabama thought I had left because when I walked in, this is what I found.

I don't get why when people see a man with his kids or hugging it or whatever they say "what a good dad! That's so awesome." it's his job to do that. He is supposed to do that. They are HIS children. Or the tattooed pics where a dude is holding a baby and it's all "like if this guy is a good dad tattoos and all!" it's called modeling people I doubt that baby is his or if it is he doesn't know it. Anyway I see moms all the time with tattoos or whatever doing everyday mom stuff for the kids whole life and all people do is pick apart what she ISN'T doing. Just because a dude has a cape on in the store with his kid doesn't mean he's a good dad probably means he's fucking crazy. I agree, men that take care of their own children deserve a pat on the back but like I said IT'S THIER JOB.

For the first time, I am wearing contacts. It was really scary putting them in my eyes, as I have spent my whole life stopping things from going in there (that's what she said) and I am having anxiety thinking about taking them out, but guess what?!........I CAN SEE!

Dangerously Cheesy

I hid in the women's locker room at my workout club and finished off a family sized bag of Cheetos and a frapaccino when a elderly women came in to change. I hid the evidence in my backpack and looked at my bright orange hands and laughed, cause well, it was funny. I went to the sink and started to wash them as my trusty sidekick, my beloved phone, started to slip out of my pocket. I hurried instead of stoping it and accidentally sped up its decent as it sprung loose from my pocket and started to fall. I screamed and bent down quickly to catch Phoney as I bashed my face against the counter, fell backwards on my ass from the pain, and sat there seeing stars. The woman came running in saw me and said "you ok?!" I nodded holding my eye and she turned toward the sink. She walked over to it in lunges (yes lunges) and turned off the water. She did a couple squats, looked at the sink for a sec and said "what happened? What's with the orange? Looks like you were getting friendly with a oompa loompa in here." and started to belly laugh as she bent down to pick up my phone. She turned toward me did a couple lunges and held out my phone. "this your phone?" and did a couple squats. I nodded and took it from her and she said "any excuse to exercise right?" and smiled as she stretched towards the ceiling. I smiled back and nodded, squeaked out a thank you and watched her lunge away with the occasional squat and toe touch for good measure.

Oh did I tell you? She was completely naked.

Snowbird

I stood in line at the store and let my eyes blur. For once, I was happy the line was long cause for the first time today I could relax. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something fly by. I focused my eyes and saw a bird staring at me. I nodded to him, I mean what else could I do, an he yelled at me. I jumped and yelled back "Hey! What do you want?!" and he just stared at me, along with everyone else in the store. Suddenly the line seemed endless and I wanted to get away from the little dude with the staring problem. Birds are kinda creepy and I wasn't all that sure it didn't want to hurt me. So I decided I no longer needed my few groceries and I left the basket with the cashier, lied and said I forgot my wallet and took off, small bird in tow.

I kept looking back and he hoped and flew behind me keeping up. I started to jog and he took flight landing in front of the door. I stopped and we stared at each other. Too light to cause it to automatically open I put one foot forward, stepped down, and the door opened.

The bird hopped out and stopped. I walked out behind him and he looked at the sky like he couldn't believe it was real. He looked at me, and yelled again. I smiled and he yelled one more time at me, shook and then took off. I found myself wishing I at least asked his name.

It made me think of my dad and I don't know why. It started in my heart before my mind even thought it an when it hit my head, I started to cry. I realized I'm gonna have a lot of these moments when something happens that makes me think it's my dad. I don't know if it's really him or the giant loss still inside of me that just makes everything about him, but it's the way it is. I'm gonna have these moments when I'm knocked off my feet and I cry and feel and know that there is more to all of this (there has to be) and it makes me believe.

And for that, I am so fucking grateful.

"the breaking of so great a thing, should make a greater crack."

- William Shakespeare

Brian xoxoxoxo

When good dogs go bad

Bad breath Seth

Joe going for a ride, Alabama staring like always and my junkyard dogs.